#14. Women need salvation from reality TV shows

This post is unfortunately about a reality show I happened to watch and how it disrupted my night. I am not opposed to all shows of this genre because I am a big American Idol fan, used to follow Survivor and The Apprentice, before it went celebrity. However I feel as if the networks are inundated with these containerized talk shows, and instead of seeking quality they are grasping at straws.

So it is the last day of our holiday vacation and the family is hanging out with my little cousin before he heads back to college and we are eating and having fun. As the conversation mellows we head into the living room where “True Beauty”, the new collaboration between Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher, is already in progress. Initially, the group of us challenged the criteria for participating on this show – this is supposed to be a beauty contest right? But in true reality form, the more you look at people, the more they grow on you and so did the show - at least until the last twenty-minutes when they totally blew it.

What bothered me most was not the absence of all cultures and diverse looks, but that the most ethnic woman was dismissed first. How did the networks let this happen? How could they buy into stereotypical rules about beauty, all while stating that the show is about inner beauty as well? The lone beauty banished from the show did not have a symmetrical face so she was among the least beautiful, her name was hard to pronounce, she was nosey, had a foul mouth, an ATTITUDE, was arrogant, and she did not even have the good sense to hold the door open for a guy carrying a tray of coffee. I read her every move. When does typecasting go too far? Is not this the type of neck-rolling black female that sappy black males complain about and leave for white women? Was that the ulterior motive here?

In the meantime, I would really like to know how Hadiyyah-lah got this job. Perhaps her pledge to natural beauty made her different and eligible for the competition, but what about her obvious personality issues? Someone had to notice. Now here it is on mainstream television for all to see. For all dufuses, who really think reality television is real, to rationalize their prejudices. This is not all beautiful black women and Tyra, of all people, should know this.

Again, I am tired of the networks pawning off cheap labor, wannabe actors on us as good television. I am frustrated about how women are depicted on too many of these beauty and dating shows. How can we save the integrity of “real” women from Hollywood?

#4. Women Need to Smile.

With the current economic issues; expressions of genuine delight are few and far between. More and more women have become victims of wearing their emotions and worries on their face. Instead of laugh lines, we have life lines. Just think of the last time somebody told you, “my, you have a pretty smile.” If it has been a THAT LONG , please do not rush to the nearest cosmetic counter; that will only disguise the conflict within. What I am suggesting is much cheaper, and ten (10) times better than all the latest beauty regimens, Botox® or even a Jessica Simpson do-it-yourself weave job. It is called a SMILE!

Ladies, I hate to break it to you, but in this world, we will always have wars, economic crises, storms of life and the like, but take pleasure in knowing that we will also have sunrises and sunsets, people we love and who love us in return, and a plethora of personal blessings – more than we can count on both hands and feet. And there is nothing disingenuous about smiling even in hard times. As nurturers to the entire human race, a woman’s smile can be just as important as her touch. It really does warm the heart when it is offered sincerely.

Women are most attractive when they smile. So I challenge women to change their facial expressions. Start by making a simple commitment to think of your favorite things at least three times a day for a minimum of 30 seconds – and then smile. In fact, you will not even have to try; the smile will probably burst through because you have not given yourself permission to have these thoughts in a long time. By the time you have practiced this little ritual for 30 days consistently, you will have established a habit that will hopefully change your life and your looks! Hey ladies, better looks in 30 days with no costs – now, that is something to SMILE about.

Some notable quotes about “smiles”:


Smile - it increases your face value. ~Author Unknown

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. ~Author Unknown

Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. ~Author Unknown

The shortest distance between two people is a smile. ~Author Unknown

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. ~Charles Reade

You're never fully dressed without a smile. ~Martin Charnin

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa