Blog Finale

Dear Readers,

Today, May 28, 2009, I am writing my last blog for this season. Who can say with certainty what will happen in the future, but for now, I am turning in my Wordpress and BlogSpot accounts for loftier goals. My main objective for blogging was to simply journal, something I have done since I was in middle school, but because I am also a private person; I was always a little intimidated by strangers reading my personal diary, and I never wanted to appear narcissistic. To flip the script, I would cleverly change the stories around or create a scenario, in an attempt to take the focus off of me. There was always a hint of truth in my blogs, but not quite the whole story. While this was fun for a moment, my passion to write a book and develop a screenplay remained on the back burner. Well, not entirely, I did write a book, but then I got so afraid that it was a rush job and my spirit has not allowed me to publish it. How could I call myself a true artist if I did not believe in my own work? Consequently, my “first book” has become this lost project, buried in a heap of incomplete dramas and technical works.

Then one day, my cousin invited me to her singles group, and I reluctantly attended, although I knew my spirit was gnawing at me to go. Once there, I was reminded that I was not using my talents as commissioned. While some people may be unaware of their passions and talents and purposes; I do not have that luxury of ignorance. Instead, I had gotten comfortable excusing myself from my passion to learn a new job, and to relocate, and to do this and to do that and the other. I was filling my space with so many others things to worry about, so I would not have to deal with the fact that I had abandoned my gift. In retrospect, I can see that I used the blogs to say I was still writing when I was only writing amiss. Come on, three blogs, and no monetizing. Perhaps I could have convinced myself that this was God's plan if any of the three was at least earning a profit, but that was not the case and we all know that God does not dwell in confusion. While I believe the portions from my blogs will be used in later literary works, I know that it is time to "stop pussy-footing around and get back to work," as my Grandmother would say.

There is a three part test to passion in my estimation: peace, compensation, and completion. I believe without equivocation that writing is my passion, because it calms me and provides a level of peace only comparable to my devotions with God. Further, I obviously would write regardless of compensation. Lastly, there is a void in my life when I am not following this destiny. Whenever I try to fill my life with other things, I still end up lonely and incomplete. In those situations, I need to stop whatever I am doing - in my case "blogging" - and get back on track - "write this manuscript as if it contained my last breath".

Just as Moses was no great orator but was used to set a nation free; I know I am not the finest writer yet I am inspired to write this book, not for personal validation, but as a voice to be shared with the world. My first book will not be business motivational one I have been rewriting for months, but it IS a comedic love story about trust, passion and religion. And God willing, the next blog you receive from me will be an invitation to read my new novel!!! Until then, I want to thank all of my readers and feeders and those who added a comment on Facebook or sent me a message directly to my email. Your feedback was always appreciated and I hope you received a blessing from something you read.
With Peace & Love Always,

Leah

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