#20. Women need to be Selfish

This is the first of a new blog series, or what I have come to define as “slogs”. In the SELFISH slogs, my plan is to examine things women can and should do to honor themselves.

By now everyone has heard about the woman who birthed octuplets, six boys and 2 girls to be exact. That’s a lot of little people packed in one belly but somehow she managed. They say this is only the second set of live-born octuplets, so there is much ado about whether the mother took fertility drugs and concerning her desire to breast feed her new bambinos. Personally, I am not interested in either. There will be no judgment from me about fertility drugs, because I considered it myself. Once I decided that I wanted to have children, I instantly connected with how many as well. Uh, eight, never, but I did want twins. But there was one big problem; twins did not run in my family or my husband’s family. So fertility drugs were a very real alternative and I still feel that way. When I do remarry, and if my husband does not carry the necessary gene, then I will certainly revisit this as an option. Secondly, what a woman says and what she does during emotional times are two different stories. Perhaps in the initial stage of bliss, with all the amazement surrounding these miraculous births, this mother really does believe she will be able to breast feed them all. Hey, those are her breasts not mine. And I wage that she may try but it won’t last long. Still I give her so much respect for even having the desire, or maybe I should be praising the drugs that dulled her pain and her senses. Wait, I said I would not judge, so I mean that in the most unbiased manner.

What I am most concerned about is this mother, this wife - this woman, first and foremost - may not have that opportunity for solitude for quite a long while. Without the proper assistance, she could easily tire herself out completely just trying to fulfill her new role. No mention of how this will affect her marriage. But again, and more importantly, where and when will she find the “me” time, we divas so desperately need? I know women with three kids who believe they need three nannies, and some who cannot control one, so what happens to the mother of eight? Well, I have a few suggestions if she is interested:

Dear Mother of 8 simultaneously,

Here are my 8 ways you can get uninterrupted “me” time for at least one-hour per day, without resorting to hiding out in the bathroom:

1. Quickly nix the whole breast feeding idea and get some formula. Pump if you must, but the reports show she will not have enough time in the day to do this anyway, and you can’t give one kid mother’s best and not the rest. Switch to the bottle fast.

2. Move your mother in so she can help. Remind her that these are her grandchildren too, and if she wants them to grow up healthy she needs to pitch in for a couple of years.

3. Make nice with the mother-in-law, and move her in as well. Same as above.

4. Invite all the older ladies at the church or in the neighborhood to take turns coming by and helping with cleaning and cooking.

5. Give your good girlfriends the pleasure of being their sounding board; only if they want to come by and help you out. This allows you your much needed girl-talk time as well.

6. Husbands need to be providers, but they helped bring these bundles of joy into the world and they need to be certain to spend time fathering them as well.

7. Seek out a diaper, formula or any baby product for an endorsement. Nothing sells like a testimonial, and you have a lot to testify about.

8. Use your new funding from the above to start a blinged out day care center. Make more money, serve your needs and serve the needs of others. That’s what I call using what you got.

I hope it helps!