#7. Women need to drop that zero and redefine their definition of a “hero”. (Give a nice guy a chance.)

I hear the brothers complaining that nice guys are still finishing last. Are women really only interested in men with deep pockets and fancy cars? Big-ballers? Shot-callers? Is a man only qualified if he can give you “whatever you like, (you like), yeah”? I hope not, because this shortage of men will only become more severe when he has to compete with T.I.’s promise of buying a woman anything her heart desires. Although this sounds good on the surface and can be flattering to hear; it is rarely realistic. Simply stated “you cannot buy happiness”, and more importantly, a rich man is not necessarily a good man. Ask the countless number of ex-wives to the stars.

Perhaps you are not in it for love, and if that it the case, this post is not for you. But for those single sisters who are praying for the right man, and complaining that all the good ones are taken, in jail or gay; I would like to introduce you to a few you may have overlooked:

1. The Graduate. This one is noticeably younger than you are, and you are not trying to become Mrs. Robinson. “Don’t even approach me; I’m not interested in teaching you anything that your mother did not already”, you say to yourself. Granted men mature at a slower pace than women, so why push it. I am not here to say that this science is not yet proven, but at least let him get a sentence out before you send him back to his dorm. Just joking. Some men actually have “old souls” and are very mature for their ages. I would not advise a woman to pursue a relationship with a young man who is the same age as her children, but among consenting adults – “age is just a number”.
2. Mr. Undereducated. You see this handsome man walking your way. He approaches you correctly, and you engage in a powerful conversation that inevitably leads to “so where did you attend (college)?” Then you learn that he either did not attend college, matriculated for a while but left without any paper, or he graduated but with a lesser degree. Instantly, you find him below your enlightened pedigree. Absurd. This man may be the next Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Ted Turner, or Steve Jobs. Need I say more? If perhaps, you are not “smart” enough to notice the theme – none of these extraordinary entrepreneurs graduated from college; but I bet you would not snub them. So don’t be so quick to judge; you could be meeting Mr. Right at just the right time.
3. The Baby Daddy. Ladies, it is not so much about the children is it? Kids can be so cute and loving; and what good woman does not admire a man that takes care of his responsibility? The truth is that you think the baby’s mama will cause you undue drama. Well, it does not have to be that way and it is not your battle to fight. Your relationship is not with the mother of his children, but with him. If he is conscientious and thoughtful, he has already given some thought about how this new relationship with you will affect his relationship with his child. At the appointed time, you both will discuss the dynamics of this triad and settle on whatever works best. But whatever you do; do not let invalidated insecurities or fears be the determining factor.
4. Mr. EOC. He is an entirely different hue from you; yes, I am talking about his complexion. You could be fiercely chocolate and he might be freckled pink, but it should not matter. Sure you will be a walking Benetton advertisement, and that is okay. Love has no color. Men have been dating women from all walks of life, every tribe and every color for generations. Women, specifically African-American women, need to get into the game. There are too many beautiful sistahs out there bypassing love because of the color of the package. If all the men in your race are finding mates in other ethnic groups, then you may end up being an old maid while trying to hold it down for the cause. Diversify your options for success by becoming a part of the Equal Opportunity Commission.
   

I am exhausted trying to point out the obvious, so I’ll close by suggesting that you get to know a man first before you shoot him down. Whatever you do, please do not dismiss a polite, hard-working, responsible man just because he happens to fit one of the aforementioned titles. This is how good guys go bad. I can think of a whole host of reasons (i.e. crazy, violent, drug abuser, cheater) to tell a man to step off; but these are purely superficial.

It is time to get rid of all the silly excuses, so women can prepare their hearts to receive, and nice guys can get their girls!

If you have a success story about how you found love with someone who was not quite your type, please share: whatwomenwantandneed@gmail.com or post a comment.