#5. Women Want to Share

but they have to be extra careful

“who”

they share

“what”

with. People in your circle hold varying roles and should only be privy to certain topics. Although a woman can instinctively talk about most anything, anytime or anywhere; this is not always appropriate. So let us quickly identify the roles and the quality of information women can afford to place in each inbox:

PARENTS -
They are good for sharing the emotional facts of life, excluding too many details about premarital relationships. Once you are married however, keep the minor negative issues about your spouse to a minimum. Your parents will never love your life partner as much as you and will not be as quick to forgive their faults. So be discerning with sensitive matters. Parents are generally very loving and supportive, but honest to a fault because they will always see you as their child.

SPOUSES -
Studies have tried to capture the daily word count of a woman, and although it varies, a woman still averages two to three times more words than a man. For example, for the 7,000 words a man may use in a day, a woman will use 21,000. Mathematically, the man is not usually able to keep up with a woman in a conversation so you have to be specific about your topic but without making it a question-and-answer session. The trick here is to first, have the man’s attention before you start the conversation. Do not try to talk to him while he is working or tired or his focus is on something else. Men are not always the best to talk to about emotional issues either because they are innately driven to try to solve problems, rather than listening; which can make matters worse. Men can easily confuse your need to share as an attack on them – strange, but true. When they are unable to solve the problem or cannot follow the conversation they become irritable. Remember, men need to feel that there is something for them to fix; when you just need to vent, be sure to tell them up front to avoid unnecessary arguments.

BEST FRIENDS –
These are the best people to have those deep emotional conversations. All those extra words left at the end of the day are best spent here. In general, you have known these people from your youth and have shared many of life’s ups and downs. They love you and are excited about your personal growth; plus as women, they want to talk just like you do. The only word of caution here is to never mention anything that would embarrass your parents or your spouse. Some times it is hard not to tell it all; but just as you would never divulge the most intimate details of your best friend’s dramas with your husband or parents; then preserve their confidence as well.

ASSOCIATES –
You connect with this set through a common activity like work or a social organization; or through a mutual friend or spouse. They may never move to the best friend status, but there is no reason not to enjoy their company and conversation; just keep it light. Their loyalties are not as strong as the other groups and they should not be EXPECTED to be responsible with those intimate details of your life; and definitely not your dreams! Only tell them what you would not mind hearing in the streets.

If none of the aforementioned holds true for you, there is no shame in seeking professional counsel. These people are bound by ethics to keep everything you say confidential because you pay them to listen– so have your say and share away.